Spicy Thinking

Catastrophic thinking is a mental pattern where your mind jumps straight to the worst-case scenario, no matter how small or unlikely the situation. It’s more than just worrying, it’s a reflexive habit of imagining disaster at every turn, often fueled by anxiety or past experiences.

For me, this isn’t just a passing thought—it’s a way of thinking that developed early on and lodged itself in my brain.

I grew up being told that everything could kill me.

No sleepovers—their house will burn down, and I’d die.

No bike rides to a friend’s place—I will get kidnapped and die.

No hanging out with friends—I’d fail school, ruin my future, and end up a homeless person.

From as far back as I can remember, I was wired to think of the worst possible outcome as the most likely one.

That way of thinking follows me today… My brain will be like, if you don’t produce perfect work 100% of the time, you'll get fired. If I tell my partner I’m to do the dishes, he’ll get mad and break up with me. If I feel a pain in my back, I think I’ve ruptured a disc, need surgery, and my life is over.

My brain is constantly spinning, running through every awful “what if” and making me live them all in advance.

I’m working on unlearning this. I’ve started pausing to ask myself, “What’s actually happening right now?” Sometimes it helps me see things more clearly. Other times, the spiral wins. But I’ve realized I’m not alone—almost everyone I know has moments when their mind goes straight to the worst-case scenario. Knowing that helps me feel less isolated in it.

This rug represents how catastrophic thinking feels. The bright, chaotic flames are the intrusive thoughts, burning out of control, overwhelming everything. The figure’s wide, panicked eyes capture that sense of being stuck in a loop, imagining disaster after disaster.

It’s intense, it’s consuming, and it reflects how my mind operates in those moments.